Monday, July 25, 2011

Connections

I feel very strange with the thought of even giving anything close to parenting advice. I have only been one for a little over 6 months. The two kids that we have with us have a different history than most kids. I love watching them discover something that we take for granted for the first time and their giggles are music to my ears.
My wife and I have had two date nights since we became parents. One was on our anniversary in February and the second was this past weekend. We went to have an early dinner and went to a movie. We rarely go to the movies in the theatre. This blog has covered many topics, but, I highly doubt that I will be reviewing movies in it anytime soon. The kids stayed with some local family of ours for the afternoon and evening and we went out. The movie that we saw is not the point. Neither is the place where we had dinner. The important part is that we spend some time alone together. I suspect that my wife liked having time talking with someone who could actually hold a conversation with her, in understandable english.
What does this have to do with parenting advice? I think that it has to do with the fact that if my wife and I focus on keeping connected to each other, the better parents I think we will be. besides, we picked each other for forever and it is important that we continue to enjoy time together.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Constant Change

There are a lot of sayings in business that I have heard over my career. Using loss leaders to eventually make money. Cost sharing sounds more socialist than capitalistic to me. The most glaring is constant change. Makes about as much sense as jumbo shrimp or military intelligence.
Last post, I talked about one of the many changes that has occurred in my life since the beginning of 2011. The two little ones in there rooms as I type this are not the only change. At the beginning of March, shortly after the one year anniversary of Aaron's passing, my Wife's company decided that they didn't want her to work there anymore. She had worked there for over 10 years with no issues. That is why they had to invent some to justify their decision. We have gone from having two incomes to one. It has been a challenge. Our long term goal was for her to be a full time Mom, but, we didn't plan on it happening so quickly.
We are adapting. We have made a number of significant changes to our budget. Looking for ways to make the ends meet. While these events have been frustruating, we are not going to behave like we are victims here. We are taking the steps and doing what we need to do to get through.
A benefit to this change is that it is really helping our kids. Having her home is a great thing for them. It creates a whole new level of stability for them and they are loving it. I like it too. There is something to be said for coming home to my whole family every night.
I am going to have to make some changes to my schedule. Before the kids came, I used to do my workouts in the late afternoons, after work. It is not something that I can easily do. I have a hard time justifying going for runs when the kids are still awake and my wife having to work with them solo all day. I am thinking of moving my workouts to the mornings. I have written in the past about how I have felt better with the AM workouts. I just hope that going for a run at 05:00 isn't something that I can easily put off. The proof will be on my post next week.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Where have I been?

I realize that it has been a few months since my last post. First, I am going to bust some myths about what I have been doing. I have not been locked away in a dungeon in Europe. I have not been off training at a secret location, although, that would not be so bad. I have not been ignoring my readers. I like having them.
While One Pair of Shoes is mostly an exercise and fitness blog, it is important to recognize that our lives have a lot of things going on besides getting in better physical condition or losing weight. It makes sense to me to sometimes write about other thins and how they can impact training methods and goals.
I can sum up that last four months with just one word. One word with 4 little letters that can change everything in an instant.


KIDS


My wife and I have been trying to have children for as long as we have been married. Without going into all of the details, we have not been successful in having a child. After 11 years of hoping and heartbreak, we decided to become foster parents with the possibility of adopting.

I can tell you from firsthand experience that becoming a foster parent is not an easy thing. There are classes, home visits and background checks. It is a very invasive process. Some of the classes, I believe, should be required for people having biological children, but, that is one person's opinion.

We decided that we wanted to work with infants. In the county that we live in, there is a lot of methamphetamine use, so as a result, there are infants who are born addicted and sometimes get placed in forster care within hours of their birth. Recognizing the statistics for what they are, we prepared our home for having an infant. We bought bottles, diapers, a crib and all of the usual things that new parents buy. It is often said that new parents find out quickly that no matter how prepared they think they are, they really were not that prepared at all. Being a foster parent, even with the training, is no exception.

In January, we got our first placement. While we had our house prepared for a single infant, our first foster placement took us by surprise in a lot of ways. We have a pair of siblings. One is a toddler and the other is less than one year old. We had to quickly adapt to the two little ones in our home. Bioparents get to work their way into the terrible twos. We went directly into it.

I am not going to talk about the specific things regarding the kids. We are not allowed to discuss or publish the details of what lead them to being placed in our home. Besides, it is their story, not mine to tell. I can tell you that we love having them here and hope that we get to keep them indefinitely. They have impacted our lives as much as we hope to change theirs.